Lunch for breakfast?

Worth considering...

Guest blogger: TheMats - An Ode to Bacon

It’s beyond any doubt that bacon is one of the absolutely finest things in the world. Gold? Well, it can be used to buy bacon, so initially I’m a fan. Likewise with diamonds and such. But bacon far surpasses for example Jesus’ favorite sensory stimulant, myrrh.

But I digress. Myrrh has no place in lunch. Bacon, however, does. As well as in any other meal. I’ve read somewhere that bacon is the third condiment, in addition to salt and pepper. And who am I to question those sources? And who are you to refrain from having a side of bacon with anything or everything? If Heston Blumenthal can keep making his bacon and egg ice cream, you could start keeping bacon around for everything else.

Anyway. There’s bacon and then there’s Bacon. The lower case one is the watered out stuff you buy in any given Norwegian suckass grocery store, where everything is cheap as shit and that’s probably not the only similarity to fecal matter. The other kind, the real bacon, Bacon, is a thing for gods. It’s the stuff that will actually provide a full-fledged heart condition at a young age if consumed properly (read: in abundance).

How much is store-bought bacon? I’m guessing here, no need to make any informed statement, but it should run you about 200-250 bucks (NOK) a kilo. Slightly less expensive than Trendy’s preferred coke-diet, but since TheMats is currently not employed doing trend research or something where people throw goodiebags and money in your direction, I’m approaching this from the cheap perspective. Meaning I made my own Bacon, which cost me about 50 pop a kilo.

Now, it takes about four weeks, but that’s mostly waiting, and it’s not like you’ve not waited longer for other stuff that’s awesome. Remember when you were 14 (or 16 or 18 or whenever)? You had waited a long ass time to have sex, and though it probably bothered you, you still endured it. But I digress. Again. The point is, making your own Bacon is far easier than making you own salt, or pepper, and it’s cheap, and it’s the best thing in the world, except for maybe gold, which will buy you both bacon and sex.

I’ve just loaded a new batch of hog jowls to the attic, where they will cure for three weeks and become delicious guanciale, which is the even more heart stopping cousin of Bacon. And when it’s done, I’ll invite Lunch Dagenson for my favorite bacon-related dish except from the obvious favorite ”Bacon”: Carbonara, made according to the receipe of the guy that openly professes his love for lardo, or proscioutto blanco, Mario Batali. Fat as fuck and gluttonous and enjoying life.



Make it yourself someday. Make it for lunch or dinner or whatever, that’s not my mission here to discuss.

I remain dedicated to Bacon.

Guest lunchin'

When the good people at McCann invited me for lunch at their Oslo HQ to discuss some lunch-related projects, of course i said yes. It's like the Sartorialpiste being invited to Wengen. When they say lunch - you say how much.

Lunch at McCann was delicious. Good selection, and it is free. We even had wafles for dessert. The hardest part is getting used to ISS again.

Well, time to ignore the fact that a colleague spotted how ISS actually gather their salads for the salad-bar (images to come in a blogpost in a not so far future), and get back at it.

Also, please check out the new ad. It is all lunch-related. But also on the skinny side of lunch, due to my recent co-op with the under-nourished kings of style at Tynn & Trendy

Guest blogger Hawk: On the ISS debacle

Hmmm… well, I felt inspired to do this post after reading Lunsj Dagensons thoughts on the disastrous findings in ISS’ cafeterias.

There are some points I would like to make on this, and after having visited the ISS website I must say that I find the gap between the promises being made on this website, and my experiences with ISS Catering.

I quote from the website:

Why choose ISS Catering?
- Individual solutions tailored to user needs and wants
- Varied, versatile and delicious cuisine based on fresh ingredients
- Great food experiences in welcoming surroundings
- Enthusiastic and skilled staff
- Short decision-making processes
- Ongoing quality assurance and satisfaction measurement

Well, what can I say? I can partly agree with what they say about short decision-making processes (probably way too short most the times), but I have yet to experience the rest of what’s pointed out here.

I have also noticed the pictures being used on the website, and I feel the gap between promise and delivery also being present here. There is something disturbingly familiar with the woman on the left and the poster so beautifully framing her head, but the rest of the picture I find totally unrecognizable. See illustrations below.

Government Inspectors find that only 2-3 of 300 ISS canteens are OK...

Finally, some support from the Norwegian Food Safety Authority. The Authority spanked some ISS ASS on national TV yesterday - after their discovery of the total neglect of hygiene and basic understanding of food safety displayed by ISS in one of their canteens.

After checking some 300 canteens in Oslo - they found only two or three that acutally followed the rules. Two canteens were actually shut down there and then - and ISS now has to pay a fine for one of them. That's how bad it is.

Jan Petter Svinø of the Food Safety Authority - you are my hero. Keep diggin!

Oddly, ISS Faculty Services does not want to comment on this matter...

My plan now has changed: I get sick, i can sue - right?
Stay tuned...

Lunch-related signs and hip new media possibilities

Been lunching hard lately. Christmas coming up. Must practice.

Anywho: The relatively (lunchwise) challenged dynamic duo "Tynn & Trendy" moved their venture to Twitter due to the thin format.

Dagens Lunsj is looking into the same possibility - but due to the relatively low number of lunchrelated tweets we are holding back on this for now. Seems like the regular, unhip, web is the place to be right now. Stuff is happening, people meet - and so on. Blabla.

Anyway, lately we've been running into some pretty weird lunch-related signs lately. Two examples:

Guest blogger: "Trendy" from Tynn & Trendy

Just had lunch with a great friend of mine, Lunsj Dagenson himself. Nice guy, although he seems to lose focus every time he is in the presence of delicious food. Especially mid-day.

Anyways, we sat down for an hour, chatting about the bitches and the weather and the skin texture of obese people (you know, when it is pale and see through and you can see the fat and the arteries dancing underneath the skin). Lunsj-D had a big dish of something (i couldn’t bare myself to look at it), while I had my normal lunch routine: Snö&Coke. The coke keeps me going, the Snö keeps me fresh.

Thanks for the lunch, Lunsj.

xXx, Trendy (t&t’s least trendy half)

http://tynnogtrendy.blogspot.com/

Disclaimer:

The views and acts described by guest bloggers does not necessarily reflect the views of Lunsj Dagenson

I am not alone - lunch related problems exist all over the world

Now this li'l old lady choose to rather eat her cutlery than her lunch. I bet her lunch came from ISS. Sometimes it can be hard telling what's what on your plate, and i choose to believe that the 78 swallowed pieces of cutlery is a result of 78 accidental misshaps. Poor lady.

Most interesting part of this piece of news is that it is over 30 years old. Also it seems to be based on a nurses assumption of "some kind of mental disorder".

Caused by mental disorder or lousy lunch - i ask...?

Another lunch and fashion blog!

Jaoza. I found it. The only other blog concerned with both fashion and lunch. She might be only 17, but there is a clear light to be seen on the lunch+fashion future sky(?).

By the way:
None of us in the lunchblogging sphere has ever heard of whalesurfing before. Obviously a sport practiced by elderly men by poking a tied whale with a stick. Looks like fun. I knew i should have learned norwegian - but the images inspire me enough!


(Image borrowed from VG Nett)

Can we trust ISS?

It has come to my attention that ISS does not solely focus on providing weak lunches, they also try to advance in space research.

From an early age, one learns that focusing on your core areas is important. This might be the worst mixup in the history of lunch.

Also, if the personell in our canteen enjoys a paralell career as astronauts, i am seriously worried about how great this "star wars" stuff really is. ISS, you have me doubting - again.

It seems like they might be investing our lunch money in space stuff. I say: Give me back my 3038 billion NOK.

This is is

In norwegian this is called "is". The cup is made of what we call "isopor".
In other words: This is is isolated with isopor.

Is for lunch is good!

Expensive lunch

Jaoza... Not ISS but saturday lunch with the boys.
No further comments. Sorry for the blurry picture, but... You know.

Rice and whatever we've got

Two of ISS's favourite variations. "Rice with something we just warm up". The rice is like porridge - the warmed-up item is pretty cold. Bueaeah.

At least there is no worry to get dangerously obese by consuming the ISS food. It is not possible to eat that much of it - even though the nutrition part is aweful.

The guests are not the problem here, the restaurant is... I wish we at least had beer.

Beware: Easter has been moved…by ISS

The ISS website is like a bible to DagensLunsj and the DagensLunsj’ advertisers. This is where we go for inspiration and entertainment, and of course for all major news updates. It is basically our primary trusted news source. Our latest visit to ISS.no gave us a major heads up on an upcoming holiday, and we think it is important to share this with our readers.

When describing the canteen menu for March, ISS serves us with this controversial statement: March is the Easter month, and we should eat eggs. Lots and lots of eggs.

March?? Easter?? Our calendar clearly states that this years’ Palm Sunday is on the 5th of April. What are we supposed to think? Well – as usual, we believe in our bible. We believe in ISS.

So, by the power vested in ISS canteens - Easter has now officially been moved.

Happy Easter - we're in a hurry!

Oops, i did it again

I never learn. Five different types of pasta boiled for a long duration of time cannot be successful. It doesnt matter if you add broccoli.
Super-soggy and tasteless. Probably ment as a joke.

Norwegian Rockstar does not believe in lunchblogs!

image from www.smallbang.net

Singer and guitarist Øystein Greni from Norwegian rockband BigBang says in a web-meeting with the readers of VG, on the upcoming trend of lunchblogging, that he "...dont think that food is something to write about", and that "...this is something people should talk about".

It is clear that Mr. Greni at least have taken a stand on this issue - and we congratulate him with that. The worst thing to do is not to care at all...

In the end he says that "it is good to warn people of bad places", and thats sort of what this blog does, so...

We´re looking forward to your studio album, Øystein! But we strongly believe emotions and feelings is nothing to sing about - you are supposed to blog it.

In the meantime we are reading up on the subject of handling critizism while waiting for summer and looking forward to learn what other Norwegian celebrities think of lunchblogging...

Lonely Burger

An ISS classic. The lonely burger is back again. Heavily overpriced at 16 NOK. Bread not included... We need some serious investigating journalism here. Today Dagbladet can reveal the news of that soldiers get sick by using their weapons. When is someone going to look into what lunch does to us?

I'd rather have this. Or this.

By the way, check out the all-new spotify playlist. All lunch-related songs! Click on the ad to the right.

Same S*** - new price

The month of the egg is on. Omelette again. New price, same soggy piece of s***.

Please review earlier omelette-related postings for descriptions. Otherwise no comments. Gaaah.

Bad Bun

With a non-functioning camera today - here's a flashback from a few months ago. A bun with raisins for NOK 7. Dry and extremely expensive.

Here's what ISS promises us for March:
"Easter is the time to gorge in eggs. Boiled eggs, fried eggs, poached eggs, scrambled eggs, omelettes, gratins, pancakes and wafles. Eggs in salads, soups and cakes."

Maybe this is the time to go to sweden to get some cheap groceries, ISS? SEK vs NOK is weak and the road to Sweden is short... If you use a good car...