Lunch-related signs and hip new media possibilities

Been lunching hard lately. Christmas coming up. Must practice.

Anywho: The relatively (lunchwise) challenged dynamic duo "Tynn & Trendy" moved their venture to Twitter due to the thin format.

Dagens Lunsj is looking into the same possibility - but due to the relatively low number of lunchrelated tweets we are holding back on this for now. Seems like the regular, unhip, web is the place to be right now. Stuff is happening, people meet - and so on. Blabla.

Anyway, lately we've been running into some pretty weird lunch-related signs lately. Two examples:

Guest blogger: "Trendy" from Tynn & Trendy

Just had lunch with a great friend of mine, Lunsj Dagenson himself. Nice guy, although he seems to lose focus every time he is in the presence of delicious food. Especially mid-day.

Anyways, we sat down for an hour, chatting about the bitches and the weather and the skin texture of obese people (you know, when it is pale and see through and you can see the fat and the arteries dancing underneath the skin). Lunsj-D had a big dish of something (i couldn’t bare myself to look at it), while I had my normal lunch routine: Snö&Coke. The coke keeps me going, the Snö keeps me fresh.

Thanks for the lunch, Lunsj.

xXx, Trendy (t&t’s least trendy half)

http://tynnogtrendy.blogspot.com/

Disclaimer:

The views and acts described by guest bloggers does not necessarily reflect the views of Lunsj Dagenson

I am not alone - lunch related problems exist all over the world

Now this li'l old lady choose to rather eat her cutlery than her lunch. I bet her lunch came from ISS. Sometimes it can be hard telling what's what on your plate, and i choose to believe that the 78 swallowed pieces of cutlery is a result of 78 accidental misshaps. Poor lady.

Most interesting part of this piece of news is that it is over 30 years old. Also it seems to be based on a nurses assumption of "some kind of mental disorder".

Caused by mental disorder or lousy lunch - i ask...?

Another lunch and fashion blog!

Jaoza. I found it. The only other blog concerned with both fashion and lunch. She might be only 17, but there is a clear light to be seen on the lunch+fashion future sky(?).

By the way:
None of us in the lunchblogging sphere has ever heard of whalesurfing before. Obviously a sport practiced by elderly men by poking a tied whale with a stick. Looks like fun. I knew i should have learned norwegian - but the images inspire me enough!


(Image borrowed from VG Nett)

Can we trust ISS?

It has come to my attention that ISS does not solely focus on providing weak lunches, they also try to advance in space research.

From an early age, one learns that focusing on your core areas is important. This might be the worst mixup in the history of lunch.

Also, if the personell in our canteen enjoys a paralell career as astronauts, i am seriously worried about how great this "star wars" stuff really is. ISS, you have me doubting - again.

It seems like they might be investing our lunch money in space stuff. I say: Give me back my 3038 billion NOK.

This is is

In norwegian this is called "is". The cup is made of what we call "isopor".
In other words: This is is isolated with isopor.

Is for lunch is good!

Expensive lunch

Jaoza... Not ISS but saturday lunch with the boys.
No further comments. Sorry for the blurry picture, but... You know.

Rice and whatever we've got

Two of ISS's favourite variations. "Rice with something we just warm up". The rice is like porridge - the warmed-up item is pretty cold. Bueaeah.

At least there is no worry to get dangerously obese by consuming the ISS food. It is not possible to eat that much of it - even though the nutrition part is aweful.

The guests are not the problem here, the restaurant is... I wish we at least had beer.

Beware: Easter has been moved…by ISS

The ISS website is like a bible to DagensLunsj and the DagensLunsj’ advertisers. This is where we go for inspiration and entertainment, and of course for all major news updates. It is basically our primary trusted news source. Our latest visit to ISS.no gave us a major heads up on an upcoming holiday, and we think it is important to share this with our readers.

When describing the canteen menu for March, ISS serves us with this controversial statement: March is the Easter month, and we should eat eggs. Lots and lots of eggs.

March?? Easter?? Our calendar clearly states that this years’ Palm Sunday is on the 5th of April. What are we supposed to think? Well – as usual, we believe in our bible. We believe in ISS.

So, by the power vested in ISS canteens - Easter has now officially been moved.

Happy Easter - we're in a hurry!

Oops, i did it again

I never learn. Five different types of pasta boiled for a long duration of time cannot be successful. It doesnt matter if you add broccoli.
Super-soggy and tasteless. Probably ment as a joke.

Norwegian Rockstar does not believe in lunchblogs!

image from www.smallbang.net

Singer and guitarist Øystein Greni from Norwegian rockband BigBang says in a web-meeting with the readers of VG, on the upcoming trend of lunchblogging, that he "...dont think that food is something to write about", and that "...this is something people should talk about".

It is clear that Mr. Greni at least have taken a stand on this issue - and we congratulate him with that. The worst thing to do is not to care at all...

In the end he says that "it is good to warn people of bad places", and thats sort of what this blog does, so...

We´re looking forward to your studio album, Øystein! But we strongly believe emotions and feelings is nothing to sing about - you are supposed to blog it.

In the meantime we are reading up on the subject of handling critizism while waiting for summer and looking forward to learn what other Norwegian celebrities think of lunchblogging...

Lonely Burger

An ISS classic. The lonely burger is back again. Heavily overpriced at 16 NOK. Bread not included... We need some serious investigating journalism here. Today Dagbladet can reveal the news of that soldiers get sick by using their weapons. When is someone going to look into what lunch does to us?

I'd rather have this. Or this.

By the way, check out the all-new spotify playlist. All lunch-related songs! Click on the ad to the right.

Same S*** - new price

The month of the egg is on. Omelette again. New price, same soggy piece of s***.

Please review earlier omelette-related postings for descriptions. Otherwise no comments. Gaaah.

Bad Bun

With a non-functioning camera today - here's a flashback from a few months ago. A bun with raisins for NOK 7. Dry and extremely expensive.

Here's what ISS promises us for March:
"Easter is the time to gorge in eggs. Boiled eggs, fried eggs, poached eggs, scrambled eggs, omelettes, gratins, pancakes and wafles. Eggs in salads, soups and cakes."

Maybe this is the time to go to sweden to get some cheap groceries, ISS? SEK vs NOK is weak and the road to Sweden is short... If you use a good car...

Painful Pedigree Pal Pasta

Kaboom. Here's a hit to your stomach.
Overboiled pasta with a tomato sauce that really could have been eaten if it wasn't for the "meaty" content. This stuff both looks and smells like the dogfood we all know - the one from the can that you really don't like to handle, you know. Or catfoood - whatever.

As one of my colleagues said. "It's like a funeral in my mouth - and a revolution in my stomach". Second that.

I will actually be surprised if nobody get seriously ill from this. Perhaps not like salmonella, but a vomit or two is expected during the day. Who knows what these lumps of "meat" really is? The threat from food is all over the news - and all over this blog. Stay tuned

Ups- and downs syndrome

Weird. It seems like ISS actually has taken some action. Somedays we actually get salad to the warm food - and sometimes the warm food is not THAT disgusting.

But...



Suddenly they're back to "normal" level. A soggy small piece of omelette for NOK 16 is not really a full healthy meal -is it?

Actually - not too bad!

Oddly enough - after a few weeks of lunch-campaigning food has actually gotten better! It was a huge surprise to suddenly find burritos, salad, salsa, cheese for NOK 30 last friday.

The main difference is that lunch now actually consist of more than ONE ingredient. Ok, fish cakes with green salad probably still is not to be considered a full meal - but with some additional bread it actually helps.

It is a welcomed stunt by ISS to actually start doing something. Not nearly as bad as the norwegian female skiers last embarresing behaviour - and it made me think that a potential lawsuit perhaps should wait, despite the recent inspiring lawsuit here in Norway.

The guys at NRK (National TV) complains about expensive orange juice. I am glad that more and more people are focusing on the food-offering at work!

Disrespecting your customers, part XXIIV

Do i really need to comment on this? Price was 16 NOK and this is ISS' complete offering for us interested in warm lunch.

This is all part of the concept "Food and People" from ISS. Here's the translation of what this program offers. Straight off the ISS website:

• "Offer healthy and nutritious food"

• "Offer great variation"

• "Give our customers the possibility to choose from different things"

• "Satisfied customers"

• "Satisfied employees"

Here's the text that describes februarys theme for ISS. I wont even bother to translate this to english - thats how plain wrong this is:

"Februar: Iskaldt ute – i kantinen tenker vi mange varme tanker. Hva med glovarme supper med rykende nybakt brød. Brennede kjærlighet – en spicy gratinert ovnsrett. Hete retter fra østen med hvitløk og chili for de modige. Varm eplekake eller sjokoladefondant. Dampende solbærtoddy eller varm sjokolade med krem. Mmm…kom inn og varm deg."

They should be sentenced to attend the same "Respect" class as the Brittish prince. At least, paying for this "food" should be mandatory, just like this guy suggests for dagbladet.no. Im glad to notice that i am not the only one in cyberspace that is not satisfied with the lunch canteen offering...

Someone please call 911...

Reprise... from two weeks ago

An ISS special: Sauerkraut, meatlumps and lingonberry jam. Exaclty the same as two weeks ago - but this time with dried potato boats. And a new price. NOK 30. Two weeks ago the same meal cost 32, and then you did not get any potatoes.

World economy also plays a part in the price politics of ISS apparently. Quality has been on the "Wall Street 1929"-level since ISS became in charge of the canteen - so it can hardly become worse.

As Obama would say it: "we need swift and aggressive action". Otherwise i would have to get me one of these USB powered lunchboxes and bring my own food. Since the water usually taste s**t i would also have to buy some kind of a water purifyer...
Are we too nice to ISS, just as the norwegian national football team is to their opponents?

Someone should look into this matter.

Salmon Scandal

This really did not have to be so aweful. There is salmon, veggies and potatoes. The salmon is served with a tomato sauce. But...
When food is cold - it really does not taste that good. If it's cooked to absolute death, that does not help either. 28 NOK.

The upside is definetly the number of different ingredients here. Yesterday we had one (1). What will tomorrow bring?

Eternal life?

Dagbladet can reveal that "Nine out of ten that get lung cancer dies". Great story. Sadly i can say that "Ten out of Ten that eats the ISS lunch will die". It's pure science.

Turkey Tragedy

Another great delivery from ISS. Turkey "panette" with cheese. 20 NOK. No rice, no salad, no nothing.

What can you say? Yes, i do prefer this before "Snåsa-poteten", but damn! This is not something i would reccomend anyone to serve. Not if you like your customers.

Do i have to give up and start having cold lunches from the salad-bar? The quality certainly varies there as well - but it is much harder to mess up "take salad out of package - put it in salad-bar" than "take "panette" out of package, warm it slightly - put it on a tray".

I even made some art out of this

Autumnrolls?

Are these springrolls or autumnrolls?
Springrolls are crisp and full of great expectations. I guess autumnrolls are, well, kind of crisp in a way - but with a slushy and soggy base. And the filling actually looked like old rotten leafs. Just like the ground in the autumn - you never really know what that goo actually is.

We need support and comfort. Perhaps watching Lunsjtrav could be a good idea? The only thing that could help this lunch is either winning a jackpot or getting comforted by a crown princess. Maybe we should just take a taxi out of here - to better lunchspots?
Price, by the way: 32 NOK - soy sauce was free. Buying 32of these 1 NOK appartments would be a better idea.

Hell of a good idea + Great Journalism!

Norways leading online newspaper, VG.no, reveals one of the best tricks in the book. To avoid bad lunches (and bad drinks in general) one can do as the local politician in Arendal municipality:

Break into the mayors office and help yourself to some of his wine or lunch. Let this be an inspiration to us all - the lunches (and drinks) sure are better on the other side of the fence!

At least it should be better on the mayors side of the fence. Good thinking, local politician! And another solid delivery from VG.no!

Guest blogger: "Tynn" from "Tynn & Trendy"

Here's a fellow lunchblogpost from the "Thin" part of the norwegian pseudoblog that translates to "Thin & Trendy". Those guys sure know how to tone their bodies to the maxx, never letting any saturated fat ever come close to their skinny and pierced tounges.

Today’s lunch

Foot-long hoagie from Baker Hansen, accompanied by a bear-berry smoothie with youghurt natural.

The hoagie was rougher than Chuck Norris to eat, and smoothie was chilling cold. Not as chilling as the price though; 115 NOK for the lot.

Caramba!

Bad lunch + the cleavage is back

28 NOK for this "calzone" that really is a pirogue of some kind. I wish Mr. Hellstrøm could come to our canteen to have a quick tasting of some of this "culinary dark-side of the moon" food of ours.

The pirougzone was dry in the edges - and had little or no fillin. Just as expected. Why do i keep doing this to myself? I will probably go loco like Christian Bale some day if this continues.

Maybe i'll have lunch "out of office" someday. Any ideas where to go?

Sceptics with the wrong focus

As "The Sceptic" James Randi attacks Snåsamannen and other "paranormal" figures in the world history, this blog believes he could do better by investigating "the awful truth" about your lunch.

Everyday we are fooled to believe that the BS they serve us in the canteen is actually worth paying for. Please James, come follow us instead! We're lunch sceptics - and we need your help.

Quit bugging Uri Geller and Snåsamannen, and move on to more important targets - such as Ari Behn or at least focus on the Kantinelunsj!

Look at the aweful picture above. This is supposed to be an omelette! Damn if they are right. Soon i will have to start living by the "Tynn & Trendy" regime to stay away from this no-good threat to mankind.

At least, perhaps we could call in Obama to have a look at the lunching state of the nation...